1
00:00:02,870 --> 00:00:06,370
Oh, I don't know, do you want me
to hold your paintball trophy

2
00:00:06,474 --> 00:00:07,744
-while you open the door?
-Oh.

3
00:00:07,841 --> 00:00:10,081
Trophy-holding's
only for winners.

4
00:00:10,178 --> 00:00:12,178
Ouch.

5
00:00:12,280 --> 00:00:14,550
No, but, seriously,
today was so fun.

6
00:00:14,648 --> 00:00:16,848
What are you up to tomorrow?
You want to grab dinner?

7
00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,920
Uh, actually I can't.
I have to go to a thing

8
00:00:19,019 --> 00:00:21,289
with another woman.

9
00:00:22,090 --> 00:00:24,860
And now it's my turn
to say, "Ouch."

10
00:00:24,958 --> 00:00:26,358
I-It's my nonna.

11
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:28,160
Uh, she's old-school Italian,

12
00:00:28,262 --> 00:00:30,132
so the two of us always do
Sunday dinner together.

13
00:00:30,231 --> 00:00:31,501
Uh, don't get jealous,

14
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:33,469
but she does always
kiss me good night.

15
00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:35,397
I lived in Italy
for a few years.

16
00:00:37,338 --> 00:00:39,568
Sì, uh...

17
00:00:42,976 --> 00:00:45,746
[chuckles] Okay, someone only
learned the food words.

18
00:00:45,846 --> 00:00:48,476
Well, I couldn't cook.
How else was I supposed to eat?

19
00:00:48,582 --> 00:00:51,022
Tell me more
about this Sunday dinner.

20
00:00:51,119 --> 00:00:53,989
Nonna goes all out-- I mean,
Sunday sauce, handmade pasta.

21
00:00:54,088 --> 00:00:56,258
She spends the entire day
in the kitchen.

22
00:00:56,357 --> 00:00:58,957
How cool.
You know, I love dinner.

23
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,799
And I'd love to meet
your grandmother.

24
00:01:01,895 --> 00:01:03,525
Uh... yeah.

25
00:01:03,631 --> 00:01:05,171
I'm not sure we're there yet.

26
00:01:05,266 --> 00:01:07,236
Oh, really?

27
00:01:07,335 --> 00:01:09,035
I mean, I just thought we were.

28
00:01:09,137 --> 00:01:11,237
Uh, yeah, no, it's ju--
it's just that her place is

29
00:01:11,339 --> 00:01:13,669
really, really small, so...

30
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,814
Well, I'll make Sunday dinner.

31
00:01:15,909 --> 00:01:18,409
Didn't you just say
you can't cook?

32
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:20,312
Well, I couldn't cook then,

33
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,884
but now... I'm amazing.

34
00:01:22,983 --> 00:01:26,023
Handmade pasta?
I'm a master at that...

35
00:01:26,120 --> 00:01:28,420
cranky machine thingy.

36
00:01:29,089 --> 00:01:30,489
Come on, it'll be fun.

37
00:01:30,591 --> 00:01:31,961
Tomorrow night.

38
00:01:32,059 --> 00:01:34,089
Okay... sure. Yeah, uh,

39
00:01:34,195 --> 00:01:37,125
we'll see you tomorrow night
for dinner at Carly's Cucina.

40
00:01:38,332 --> 00:01:39,372
That means kitchen.

41
00:01:39,467 --> 00:01:41,197
Yes, it does.

42
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:42,542
* I know *

43
00:01:42,636 --> 00:01:43,996
* You see *

44
00:01:44,104 --> 00:01:46,544
* Somehow the world
will change for me *

45
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,610
* And be so wonderful *

46
00:01:49,710 --> 00:01:53,380
* So wake up
the members of my nation *

47
00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:55,581
* It's your time to be *

48
00:01:55,683 --> 00:01:58,623
* There's no chance
unless you take one *

49
00:01:58,719 --> 00:02:01,319
* And the time to see
the brighter side *

50
00:02:01,422 --> 00:02:04,592
* Of every situation *

51
00:02:04,692 --> 00:02:06,332
* Some things are meant to be *

52
00:02:06,427 --> 00:02:09,957
* So give your best
and leave the rest to me. *

53
00:02:11,999 --> 00:02:14,999
Spencer, can I host
a really important dinner party

54
00:02:15,102 --> 00:02:17,242
here tomorrow night,
so I can meet Wes's grandma?

55
00:02:17,338 --> 00:02:18,568
I can? Thank you.

56
00:02:18,672 --> 00:02:20,842
Ooh! Meeting the family?

57
00:02:20,941 --> 00:02:22,941
Sounds like you're
getting serious,

58
00:02:23,043 --> 00:02:25,383
like me and Maeve
and our perfect relationship.

59
00:02:25,479 --> 00:02:28,449
Oh, there's my Sleeping Beauty,

60
00:02:28,549 --> 00:02:31,049
freshly risen
from dozing the day away.

61
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,821
Mmm. Well...

62
00:02:32,920 --> 00:02:35,590
I wouldn't need a nap
if my sweet baby

63
00:02:35,689 --> 00:02:37,589
didn't snore all night.

64
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:40,591
Oh. I could've sworn
I was the one up all night,

65
00:02:40,694 --> 00:02:44,234
thanks
to your ocean noise machine.

66
00:02:44,332 --> 00:02:46,832
-Nothing more soothing than
the sounds of seagulls. -Mm.

67
00:02:46,934 --> 00:02:49,144
-Squawk! Squawk! [chuckles]
-Mmm.

68
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:50,697
I love those birds.

69
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,574
Maybe more than I love you.

70
00:02:52,673 --> 00:02:54,283
[chuckles softly]
Just kidding.

71
00:02:54,375 --> 00:02:55,935
[both laughing]

72
00:02:56,043 --> 00:02:58,853
-Bye. [chuckles]
-[both smooching]

73
00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:02,521
[smooches]

74
00:03:03,317 --> 00:03:04,387
See?

75
00:03:04,485 --> 00:03:06,145
Aren't we adorable?

76
00:03:06,254 --> 00:03:07,564
That was my nightmare.

77
00:03:08,289 --> 00:03:10,459
Seems like you burned right
through the honeymoon phase,

78
00:03:10,558 --> 00:03:11,988
and now you're
on to the next one.

79
00:03:12,092 --> 00:03:12,832
Which is what?

80
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,456
The "smean" phase--

81
00:03:14,562 --> 00:03:16,202
where everything's mean...

82
00:03:16,297 --> 00:03:18,167
but with a smile.

83
00:03:21,001 --> 00:03:23,841
Carly, check it out--
the perfect look

84
00:03:23,937 --> 00:03:27,037
for Double Dutch's first music
video with a real budget.

85
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:30,240
It's kaleidoscope like
her first single "Kaleidoscope."

86
00:03:30,344 --> 00:03:33,414
And it's tattered like
her second single "Tatters."

87
00:03:33,514 --> 00:03:35,584
And it's elegant
like her third single...

88
00:03:35,683 --> 00:03:37,593
-"Ugly."
-Uh...

89
00:03:37,685 --> 00:03:39,245
yeah, so ugly.

90
00:03:39,353 --> 00:03:42,123
Wow, the disrespect.

91
00:03:42,890 --> 00:03:44,430
Double Dutch is on the rise,

92
00:03:44,525 --> 00:03:47,255
and she's counting on me to help
her get to the next level.

93
00:03:47,361 --> 00:03:49,731
Like, where would Gaga be
without her meat dress?

94
00:03:49,830 --> 00:03:52,270
Or where would Katy Perry be
without her cupcake bra?

95
00:03:52,366 --> 00:03:54,896
Wait, should I be doing
something with food?

96
00:03:55,002 --> 00:03:57,342
I don't know, I don't want
to think about food.

97
00:03:57,438 --> 00:04:00,908
I invited Wes and his
grandmother over for dinner,

98
00:04:01,008 --> 00:04:03,608
and he said
we weren't there yet.

99
00:04:03,711 --> 00:04:05,181
But you've been on nine dates.

100
00:04:05,279 --> 00:04:06,849
I know. So after that,

101
00:04:06,947 --> 00:04:08,817
I pushed him just a little...

102
00:04:08,916 --> 00:04:11,416
and he said, "Sure."

103
00:04:11,519 --> 00:04:13,089
Ooh.

104
00:04:13,186 --> 00:04:14,356
I know.

105
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:15,955
Now I have to make
this gourmet feast.

106
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,026
-You don't cook.
-So I can impress his grandma.

107
00:04:18,125 --> 00:04:19,655
Who he didn't want you to meet.

108
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,330
And then maybe
he'll define the relationship

109
00:04:21,429 --> 00:04:22,729
and ask me to be his girlfriend.

110
00:04:22,830 --> 00:04:24,100
You two haven't done that yet?

111
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:26,568
Oh, I mean, yes!

112
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,737
Great plan. Manifest, queen.

113
00:04:28,836 --> 00:04:31,366
But, look, you don't have
to pretend to cook.

114
00:04:31,472 --> 00:04:33,172
Just be your authentic self.

115
00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,783
[phone rings]

116
00:04:36,009 --> 00:04:37,349
[British accent]:
Hello, Harper Designs,

117
00:04:37,445 --> 00:04:39,805
Miss Pennyfeathers speaking.
How may I help you?

118
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:40,953
[normal voice]:
It's Dutch.

119
00:04:41,649 --> 00:04:44,619
[British accent]: I'll see
if Miss Harper's available.

120
00:04:44,718 --> 00:04:46,818
Aw, Miss Pennyfeathers,

121
00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,920
the hardest-working
fake assistant in the biz.

122
00:04:49,022 --> 00:04:50,962
[normal voice]:
Mm-hmm. Dutch!

123
00:04:51,058 --> 00:04:52,528
How are you?

124
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,056
I hear you're having
a dinner party,

125
00:04:55,162 --> 00:04:57,002
which is perfect timing because

126
00:04:57,097 --> 00:04:59,197
I just finished the beta version
of the app I'm developing.

127
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,539
Can I give you
the Barracuda Boardroom pitch?

128
00:05:01,635 --> 00:05:03,595
Fine. I'll pretend
to be a wealthy,

129
00:05:03,704 --> 00:05:05,474
overly judgmental investor

130
00:05:05,573 --> 00:05:07,173
that can make or break you.

131
00:05:07,274 --> 00:05:09,444
[clears throat]

132
00:05:09,543 --> 00:05:11,283
Freddie Benson is
an app designer

133
00:05:11,379 --> 00:05:12,579
from Seattle, Washington.

134
00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:14,180
He's cool with fish,

135
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,381
cruel with bedtimes,
and he's come here today

136
00:05:16,484 --> 00:05:19,654
to share an app that's going
to revolutionize cooking.

137
00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:21,858
Hey, Barracudas.

138
00:05:21,955 --> 00:05:23,655
Whipping up a big meal is hard.

139
00:05:23,757 --> 00:05:26,757
With all the different recipes
and ingredients and timing,

140
00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,600
who can keep it straight?

141
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:31,126
That's why I created
Bon Appe-timer,

142
00:05:31,231 --> 00:05:34,001
the app that takes the guesswork
out of kitchen work.

143
00:05:34,101 --> 00:05:36,771
Just drag in your recipes
and the app alerts you

144
00:05:36,870 --> 00:05:38,610
every step of the way.

145
00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,906
This is exactly what I need.

146
00:05:41,742 --> 00:05:43,782
-Well, I'm in.
-You're right.

147
00:05:43,877 --> 00:05:46,647
Kaleidoscope, tatters,
elegance-- it's so passé.

148
00:05:46,747 --> 00:05:49,017
I don't know
why my assistant pulled that.

149
00:05:49,116 --> 00:05:51,216
[British accent]: Please
don't fire me, Miss Harper.

150
00:05:51,318 --> 00:05:54,518
I need this job
to feed me family.

151
00:05:54,622 --> 00:05:56,822
[normal voice]: All right,
I'll give you one last chance.

152
00:05:56,924 --> 00:05:59,734
Yeah, girl,
she been messing up a lot.

153
00:06:04,097 --> 00:06:06,927
I got to say, Freddie's app
is saving my butt.

154
00:06:07,034 --> 00:06:09,844
I couldn't decide between
rigatoni, ziti, or spaghetti,

155
00:06:09,937 --> 00:06:11,867
so I found a recipe
that uses them all.

156
00:06:11,972 --> 00:06:14,342
It's called Raviolo Maximo.

157
00:06:14,442 --> 00:06:16,712
It's the Turducken of pasta.

158
00:06:16,810 --> 00:06:18,810
Yeah, Turducken, yum.

159
00:06:18,912 --> 00:06:21,682
Wow, the disrespect.

160
00:06:21,782 --> 00:06:24,282
Sorry, I'm distracted.

161
00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:27,054
Dutch has hated the last five
looks I've shown her.

162
00:06:27,154 --> 00:06:29,024
If this one's not a hit,
I'm probably fired.

163
00:06:29,122 --> 00:06:30,562
Do you think she'll like this?

164
00:06:30,658 --> 00:06:32,828
Reminder, I am very fragile.

165
00:06:32,926 --> 00:06:34,596
Yeah, she's gonna love it.

166
00:06:34,695 --> 00:06:37,765
But if she doesn't, are you
just gonna bail on it again?

167
00:06:37,865 --> 00:06:39,225
If I want to keep my job!

168
00:06:39,332 --> 00:06:41,202
I can't just tell
Double Dutch what I think.

169
00:06:41,301 --> 00:06:43,941
But isn't that exactly
what you're hired to do?

170
00:06:44,037 --> 00:06:45,507
Carly...

171
00:06:45,606 --> 00:06:47,136
sweet Carly.

172
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:48,780
You know nothing.

173
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:52,508
I've been saying that for years.

174
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,453
Oh, that reminds me.
Millicent, I am begging you,

175
00:06:55,549 --> 00:06:57,019
please be nice to me tonight.

176
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,987
You got it, Aunt Carly.

177
00:06:59,086 --> 00:07:01,756
Wes really hit the jackpot
when he met you.

178
00:07:03,657 --> 00:07:04,757
Already bribed her?

179
00:07:04,858 --> 00:07:06,588
Yep. I wanted you to be able

180
00:07:06,694 --> 00:07:08,134
to focus on what matters
the most tonight.

181
00:07:08,228 --> 00:07:09,798
Defining my relationship
with Wes?

182
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,797
No, the real star
of this evening--

183
00:07:11,899 --> 00:07:13,129
my app.

184
00:07:13,233 --> 00:07:14,643
[bell dings]

185
00:07:14,735 --> 00:07:16,395
-Ooh, pasta's ready.
-Great news!

186
00:07:16,504 --> 00:07:19,074
Figured out how to stay
in the honeymoon phase.

187
00:07:19,172 --> 00:07:21,742
I found this book How to Stay
in the Honeymoon Phase.

188
00:07:21,842 --> 00:07:23,042
Listen.

189
00:07:23,143 --> 00:07:24,753
"The first thing
you should know is that

190
00:07:24,845 --> 00:07:26,745
"for every relationship,
the honeymoon phase

191
00:07:26,847 --> 00:07:28,747
ends at some point."

192
00:07:28,849 --> 00:07:31,249
This book was written
by a mean liar.

193
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:32,885
[knocking]

194
00:07:32,986 --> 00:07:34,686
Okay, he's here.

195
00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,288
Uh, remember, this dinner is
really important to me,

196
00:07:38,391 --> 00:07:40,991
so everyone be
on their best behavior.

197
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:44,203
Welcome.

198
00:07:44,297 --> 00:07:46,727
Uh, sorry,
I came straight from work.

199
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:48,674
Carly, this is my nonna Sylvia.

200
00:07:48,769 --> 00:07:50,439
[CARLY]:
It is so nice to meet you.

201
00:07:50,538 --> 00:07:52,638
Uh, this is my brother
Spencer, that's Freddie

202
00:07:52,740 --> 00:07:55,340
and his daughter Millicent,
and my roommate Harper.

203
00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,945
[ALL]:
Hello!

204
00:07:59,046 --> 00:08:02,646
What a nice-looking
bunch you are.

205
00:08:02,750 --> 00:08:05,650
And, Carly,
aren't you a stunner.

206
00:08:05,753 --> 00:08:07,253
Thank you, Sylvia.

207
00:08:07,354 --> 00:08:08,624
Oh, call me Nonna.

208
00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:11,359
-I'm gonna change real quick.
-I'll take your coat.

209
00:08:11,458 --> 00:08:14,088
-I'll finish setting the table.
-I'll get drinks.

210
00:08:16,463 --> 00:08:19,333
Well, I guess it's just me
and you, Nonna. [chuckles]

211
00:08:19,432 --> 00:08:22,772
Oh, good, because I have
something to tell you.

212
00:08:22,870 --> 00:08:24,940
I don't like you.

213
00:08:31,144 --> 00:08:32,384
This is a disaster.

214
00:08:32,479 --> 00:08:34,079
Wes's nonna hates me.

215
00:08:34,181 --> 00:08:36,321
If she doesn't like me, there's
not gonna be a relationship.

216
00:08:36,416 --> 00:08:38,086
-[bell dings]
-Aah!

217
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:41,015
Time to layer the three pastas
inside the raviolo!

218
00:08:41,121 --> 00:08:44,091
Uh, Spencer, Harper,
go entertain Nonna.

219
00:08:44,191 --> 00:08:46,031
You got it.

220
00:08:46,126 --> 00:08:48,396
Don't leave it to the amateurs
when you've got

221
00:08:48,495 --> 00:08:51,195
a pro in the house.
Grannies can't resist

222
00:08:51,298 --> 00:08:53,368
this.

223
00:08:54,401 --> 00:08:56,301
Carly, I will not let you down.

224
00:08:57,605 --> 00:08:59,635
Wow. What did you
bribe her with?

225
00:08:59,740 --> 00:09:01,640
Bon Appe-timer stock options.

226
00:09:01,742 --> 00:09:03,742
She said it would round out
her portfolio.

227
00:09:05,145 --> 00:09:07,045
Hi, Nonna Sylvia. I'm Millicent.

228
00:09:07,147 --> 00:09:08,947
Want to see me do a cartwheel?

229
00:09:09,049 --> 00:09:10,319
I'd love to.

230
00:09:10,417 --> 00:09:11,987
Why don't you do
a few out in the hallway?

231
00:09:12,085 --> 00:09:14,085
But then you won't be able
to see me.

232
00:09:14,187 --> 00:09:15,987
Exactly.

233
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:20,688
Yeah, you're screwed.

234
00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,161
[gasps] Oh!

235
00:09:23,263 --> 00:09:26,133
Here's my handsome Wesley!

236
00:09:26,233 --> 00:09:28,403
Carly? You're the angel

237
00:09:28,501 --> 00:09:31,711
I prayed would land
on this earth

238
00:09:31,805 --> 00:09:33,705
for my grandson.

239
00:09:34,675 --> 00:09:37,305
-She's really into praying.
-[chuckles]

240
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:38,880
To who?

241
00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:42,253
-[bell dinging]
-Oh. Uh...

242
00:09:42,349 --> 00:09:45,019
Time to put the raviolo
in the oven.

243
00:09:45,819 --> 00:09:48,319
Wait, this doesn't make sense.

244
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:50,061
How am I supposed
to put the raviolo in

245
00:09:50,157 --> 00:09:52,357
when the garlic bread's already
baking at another temperature?

246
00:09:52,459 --> 00:09:54,589
-Hang on a second.
-Okay.

247
00:09:54,695 --> 00:09:57,225
-Uh, here.
-[phone rings]

248
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:58,670
Oh.

249
00:09:58,766 --> 00:10:00,396
[British accent]:
Hello, Harper Designs.

250
00:10:00,500 --> 00:10:02,300
May I place you on a brief hold?

251
00:10:02,402 --> 00:10:04,912
[vocalizing]

252
00:10:09,176 --> 00:10:10,276
At least Spencer's still there.

253
00:10:10,377 --> 00:10:12,507
-[MAEVE]: Spencer!
-Got to go.

254
00:10:14,547 --> 00:10:16,517
Great news,
nothing wrong with the app.

255
00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,216
It was user error.

256
00:10:18,318 --> 00:10:20,918
How do people on TV make
dinner parties look so easy?

257
00:10:21,021 --> 00:10:24,021
That Barefoot Contessa is
a lying she-devil.

258
00:10:24,124 --> 00:10:25,064
Do you need some help, chef?

259
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,558
Oh, no need.

260
00:10:26,660 --> 00:10:28,360
Everything's running smoothly.

261
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,361
I'm very impressive.
[chuckles]

262
00:10:31,364 --> 00:10:32,934
Wow.

263
00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,243
Look at all these people that
no one told me were coming over,

264
00:10:36,336 --> 00:10:38,766
my little social butterfly.

265
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:41,342
It's almost like you heard them,
knew they were here,

266
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,281
and chose not to say hi,

267
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:45,006
my precious hermit crab.

268
00:10:45,112 --> 00:10:48,122
What a fun, little play
you must be rehearsing for.

269
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:51,445
Since nobody fights
at important dinner parties.

270
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:55,616
[BOTH]:
Love you! [smooching]

271
00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:00,492
Big problem.

272
00:11:00,593 --> 00:11:01,963
There's a problem?

273
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,332
-Here, I can help you.
-Oh, no. No, you can't.

274
00:11:03,430 --> 00:11:04,430
'Cause there's no problem.

275
00:11:04,531 --> 00:11:06,401
You're not gonna leave, are you?

276
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,839
Of course not.
Dutch is coming here.

277
00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:11,436
-What? When?
-[knocking]

278
00:11:11,538 --> 00:11:13,768
Now-ish? Look,

279
00:11:13,874 --> 00:11:15,314
I promise it'll be real quick.

280
00:11:15,408 --> 00:11:17,138
She insisted on seeing
her video outfit in person.

281
00:11:17,244 --> 00:11:20,014
Carly, if I don't nail this
assignment, I could lose my job.

282
00:11:20,113 --> 00:11:22,923
Okay,
just keep it inconspicuous.

283
00:11:23,016 --> 00:11:25,616
Of course. Nonna won't
even know that she's here.

284
00:11:26,619 --> 00:11:32,589
* Hello... *

285
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,232
I assume everyone knows
who I am. No.

286
00:11:35,328 --> 00:11:36,698
I don't need your names.

287
00:11:36,797 --> 00:11:38,627
I will call all of you
Josephine,

288
00:11:38,732 --> 00:11:41,702
after my sister,
whoms I don't like.

289
00:11:43,303 --> 00:11:45,173
Please-please tell me this is
not the outfit you wanted me

290
00:11:45,272 --> 00:11:46,812
-to see.
-Uh... [laughs]

291
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:48,837
This dumb thing?
[scoffs]

292
00:11:48,942 --> 00:11:50,812
No! No.

293
00:11:51,578 --> 00:11:53,578
I don't think it's dumb.
I think it...

294
00:11:53,680 --> 00:11:55,320
It's smoking!

295
00:11:55,415 --> 00:11:57,645
It's on fire!

296
00:12:00,687 --> 00:12:03,087
Dinner is moments away.

297
00:12:03,190 --> 00:12:04,720
[chuckles]

298
00:12:04,825 --> 00:12:06,855
You screwed me, Benson.

299
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:09,527
You had the garlic bread
too close to the broiler.

300
00:12:09,629 --> 00:12:11,559
That's not on me.

301
00:12:13,867 --> 00:12:16,097
Ugh! Where is my outfit?

302
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:17,873
The shoot is tomorrow.

303
00:12:17,971 --> 00:12:20,441
Um, I'm gonna be
totally honest with you.

304
00:12:20,540 --> 00:12:24,380
My assistant Miss Pennyfeathers
is on her way with it.

305
00:12:24,477 --> 00:12:26,177
Okay, well, how far is she?

306
00:12:26,279 --> 00:12:28,449
'Cause I was already hungry,
and now the smell

307
00:12:28,548 --> 00:12:31,578
of charred garlic bread
has me ravenous.

308
00:12:31,684 --> 00:12:33,324
Oh, well, do you want to...?

309
00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:34,690
Stay for dinner?

310
00:12:34,788 --> 00:12:36,818
Oh, I would love to!
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

311
00:12:36,924 --> 00:12:38,834
* Feed me, feed me *

312
00:12:38,926 --> 00:12:40,586
* If you really need me! *

313
00:12:40,693 --> 00:12:42,003
That just came out of me.

314
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,695
Carly...

315
00:12:43,797 --> 00:12:45,797
do you mind if Dutch stays
for dinner?

316
00:12:45,899 --> 00:12:47,699
Oh, cool.

317
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,701
An unexpected guest,

318
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:52,573
who also happens to be a
high-maintenance indie darling,

319
00:12:52,672 --> 00:12:55,982
at the most important dinner
of my life.

320
00:12:56,076 --> 00:12:58,606
[laughing]

321
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:01,609
We're having fun!

322
00:13:03,616 --> 00:13:06,386
Um, I'm not a huge fan
of tomatoes,

323
00:13:06,486 --> 00:13:08,286
so I'm not gonna do the pasta.

324
00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:09,858
Um, but it's okay. Don't worry.

325
00:13:09,957 --> 00:13:12,387
I will just take whatever
the chef's alternate meal is.

326
00:13:12,492 --> 00:13:14,962
[smooches]
Thank you, Josephine.

327
00:13:17,664 --> 00:13:20,274
You screwed me, too,
Bettencourt.

328
00:13:23,603 --> 00:13:25,543
[chuckles] Carly,
if you don't let me help,

329
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:27,208
I'll never come over again.

330
00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,737
Okay, fine.

331
00:13:28,842 --> 00:13:30,942
Um, could you just make sure
that there...?

332
00:13:31,044 --> 00:13:32,884
Serving spoons? Already got 'em.

333
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:36,752
What are you wearing?

334
00:13:36,850 --> 00:13:38,350
Something downright adorable

335
00:13:38,451 --> 00:13:40,251
to make that old broad like me.

336
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:41,553
Ah.

337
00:13:44,524 --> 00:13:47,094
Well, hello, Mrs. Wes's Grandma.

338
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,064
I was hoping that we could
sit next to each other

339
00:13:49,162 --> 00:13:51,762
during dinner, and you could
tell me about the good old days.

340
00:13:51,865 --> 00:13:53,665
Oh, I would love to.

341
00:13:53,766 --> 00:13:55,766
There was this glorious time

342
00:13:55,869 --> 00:13:57,599
a few minutes ago

343
00:13:57,704 --> 00:13:59,614
when you weren't here.

344
00:14:01,141 --> 00:14:02,341
It's official.

345
00:14:02,442 --> 00:14:04,082
I've lost my mojo.

346
00:14:06,346 --> 00:14:08,576
[bell dings]

347
00:14:09,616 --> 00:14:12,186
"Meal complete. You are done."

348
00:14:12,285 --> 00:14:14,215
I am? That was so fast!

349
00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:17,685
-[sighs]
-Moment of truth.

350
00:14:25,032 --> 00:14:28,202
Uh... is it supposed to be...

351
00:14:28,301 --> 00:14:29,941
pulsating?

352
00:14:30,037 --> 00:14:32,907
The pulsating's
how you know it's done.

353
00:14:33,673 --> 00:14:35,213
I did it.

354
00:14:35,308 --> 00:14:37,838
I can't believe I did it.

355
00:14:38,678 --> 00:14:40,878
Everyone, let's eat!

356
00:14:41,748 --> 00:14:42,878
Oh!

357
00:14:42,983 --> 00:14:45,893
This is a beautiful table!

358
00:14:45,986 --> 00:14:49,556
And look at the pulsation
on that raviolo!

359
00:14:49,656 --> 00:14:52,156
Thank you, Nonna.

360
00:14:52,259 --> 00:14:55,429
Uh, Maeve, my sweet love, would
you like to sit next to me?

361
00:14:55,528 --> 00:14:56,628
No.

362
00:14:58,198 --> 00:15:00,628
I'm really happy we did this.

363
00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:03,403
I knew we were ready.

364
00:15:04,104 --> 00:15:07,274
I just love seeing all your
faces around the table.

365
00:15:07,374 --> 00:15:08,514
It's so great that...

366
00:15:08,608 --> 00:15:10,978
-[coughing]
-She's choking!

367
00:15:11,078 --> 00:15:13,808
Nonna's choking! Here, get up!

368
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,883
Okay.
[screaming]

369
00:15:18,851 --> 00:15:20,721
Let go of me!

370
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,690
[whimpering]

371
00:15:22,789 --> 00:15:24,159
What are you doing?

372
00:15:24,257 --> 00:15:25,557
You were choking!

373
00:15:25,658 --> 00:15:27,658
-Are you okay?
-I wasn't choking.

374
00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:29,700
I ate a bite of raw sausage

375
00:15:29,796 --> 00:15:32,966
and was trying to spit it out,
when this one jumped on me!

376
00:15:33,066 --> 00:15:35,036
I thought you were dying!

377
00:15:35,135 --> 00:15:38,205
I'm sorry, did you say
"raw sausage"?

378
00:15:42,009 --> 00:15:43,939
I have a broken rib.

379
00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:46,384
And I have a broken app.

380
00:15:46,479 --> 00:15:48,849
I am so, so sorry.

381
00:15:48,948 --> 00:15:51,018
I need to lie down.

382
00:15:51,118 --> 00:15:53,288
Uh, you can use my place.
Here, I'll take you.

383
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:54,886
Aah! Don't touch me!

384
00:15:54,988 --> 00:15:57,888
Yeah, Carly. I'll take her.

385
00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,028
[DUTCH]:
So...

386
00:16:03,130 --> 00:16:05,400
do you think it's safe
to eat the salad?

387
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,771
Well, this seals it.

388
00:16:12,872 --> 00:16:14,942
I don't think Wes wants
to be in a relationship

389
00:16:15,042 --> 00:16:17,112
with an elder abuser.

390
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,050
Come on, I'm sure
his grandma's fine.

391
00:16:19,146 --> 00:16:21,606
That's why we have so many ribs.

392
00:16:21,714 --> 00:16:23,584
Oh, I could go for some ribs!

393
00:16:23,683 --> 00:16:25,423
I'm just gonna say
what everyone's thinking.

394
00:16:25,518 --> 00:16:27,748
-Outback.
-Chili's.

395
00:16:30,157 --> 00:16:33,857
Okay, I can't just sit here
feeling sorry for myself.

396
00:16:33,960 --> 00:16:37,030
I'm gonna go apologize
to Wes and Sylvia.

397
00:16:37,130 --> 00:16:39,370
[dog whines]

398
00:16:40,300 --> 00:16:42,200
Aw! Who's this little guy?

399
00:16:42,302 --> 00:16:44,102
Her name is Kevin.

400
00:16:44,204 --> 00:16:46,814
And she lives in my purse.

401
00:16:46,906 --> 00:16:48,406
And now...

402
00:16:48,508 --> 00:16:51,608
she lives in my lap.

403
00:16:51,711 --> 00:16:53,551
Can I talk to you
really quick over...?

404
00:16:53,646 --> 00:16:55,006
Oh, yeah.

405
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:56,775
You want to order a pizza?
Anything but pineapple.

406
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:59,323
Unless you like pineapple,
in which case, mahalo.

407
00:16:59,419 --> 00:17:00,949
I'm starting to think
that your assistant

408
00:17:01,054 --> 00:17:02,364
isn't coming with my outfit.

409
00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:04,015
No, she's coming.

410
00:17:04,124 --> 00:17:05,734
Uh, maybe
her quintuplets got sick.

411
00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:08,195
Or she had to take her baby
to the airport.

412
00:17:08,295 --> 00:17:09,455
Look, if you and I
can't work together

413
00:17:09,562 --> 00:17:11,202
like a well-oiled machine,

414
00:17:11,298 --> 00:17:12,728
I'm gonna have
to hire someone else.

415
00:17:12,832 --> 00:17:15,072
Well-oiled machine?

416
00:17:15,168 --> 00:17:17,698
Wes's coveralls. Wait, hold
that thought. I need to work.

417
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:20,644
-If-if that's okay with you.
-Yes, go!

418
00:17:20,740 --> 00:17:24,310
I'll fire Miss Pennyfeathers
when she gets here.

419
00:17:26,913 --> 00:17:28,523
Nonna Sylvia?

420
00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:31,545
I'll let you sleep.

421
00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,551
I'm so sorry that I hurt you.

422
00:17:36,022 --> 00:17:39,862
And... I lied about
knowing how to cook.

423
00:17:42,095 --> 00:17:43,895
I just wanted to impress Wes.

424
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:47,596
And you, 'cause you mean
so much to him.

425
00:17:48,468 --> 00:17:51,038
And I like him a lot.

426
00:17:51,138 --> 00:17:53,608
Like, a lot a lot.

427
00:17:53,706 --> 00:17:55,836
Sorry, maybe that's
too many lots.

428
00:17:55,942 --> 00:17:57,442
I like him a sane amount.

429
00:18:00,947 --> 00:18:03,547
I just really hope that maybe
you can forgive me.

430
00:18:03,650 --> 00:18:05,350
And...

431
00:18:05,452 --> 00:18:06,852
Oh, no.

432
00:18:06,953 --> 00:18:10,723
Why is your hand
so cold and clammy?

433
00:18:10,823 --> 00:18:13,163
Nonna? Nonna?

434
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:15,090
Oh, my God.

435
00:18:15,195 --> 00:18:16,895
This can't be happening.

436
00:18:16,996 --> 00:18:19,266
Okay, I-I can do this.

437
00:18:19,366 --> 00:18:21,866
I saw a CPR video online once.

438
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,506
-Clear!
-[both screaming]

439
00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:29,737
-Get off of me!
-Oh, my God!

440
00:18:29,842 --> 00:18:31,442
Wes!

441
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:32,954
She tried to kill me again!

442
00:18:33,045 --> 00:18:35,105
No! No, no, no.
I was trying to save you.

443
00:18:35,215 --> 00:18:36,645
Carly, what are you doing?

444
00:18:36,749 --> 00:18:38,549
I-I'm sorry.
I thought she was dead!

445
00:18:38,651 --> 00:18:40,651
-Well, I'm not!
-A-And I'm glad!

446
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:42,863
I am so glad you're not dead.

447
00:18:42,955 --> 00:18:44,155
[chuckles]

448
00:18:44,257 --> 00:18:45,957
Again.

449
00:18:46,058 --> 00:18:47,428
Come on, Harper.

450
00:18:47,527 --> 00:18:49,757
Let's see it.

451
00:18:53,065 --> 00:18:54,965
May I present...

452
00:18:55,067 --> 00:18:56,537
Greased Lightning.

453
00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,166
Aah! No, you may not.

454
00:18:58,271 --> 00:18:59,571
Oh, I'm sorry.

455
00:18:59,672 --> 00:19:02,842
I don't love Grease.

456
00:19:02,942 --> 00:19:04,442
First of all,

457
00:19:04,544 --> 00:19:07,484
you need to put some respect
on Olivia Newton-John's name.

458
00:19:07,580 --> 00:19:09,950
-Oh.
-And second of all,

459
00:19:10,049 --> 00:19:11,619
this is the look.

460
00:19:11,718 --> 00:19:14,218
It says you are
the well-oiled machine.

461
00:19:14,321 --> 00:19:16,091
You're in the driver's seat.

462
00:19:16,189 --> 00:19:17,689
-Skrr, skrr.
-Oh. Oh.

463
00:19:17,790 --> 00:19:19,690
-You leave the competition
in the dust. -Ooh.

464
00:19:19,792 --> 00:19:21,662
Honey, you're miles ahead.

465
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:24,001
Oh! Okay, enough car puns.

466
00:19:25,097 --> 00:19:26,767
I'm into it.

467
00:19:26,866 --> 00:19:28,796
You are? Um, I mean,
of course you are.

468
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,201
It's so Dutch.

469
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:31,373
Oh!

470
00:19:31,471 --> 00:19:33,111
I love Dutch.

471
00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:36,740
Where has this Harper been
this whole time?

472
00:19:36,843 --> 00:19:39,113
Terrified of losing her job.

473
00:19:39,212 --> 00:19:41,752
Aw. Well...

474
00:19:42,649 --> 00:19:45,649
...maybe she can be
slightly less terrified.

475
00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,852
She loves that for her.

476
00:19:53,092 --> 00:19:55,132
There you are.

477
00:19:55,895 --> 00:19:58,765
This is where I go
when I need to get some air.

478
00:20:00,500 --> 00:20:02,370
Did we move too fast?

479
00:20:02,469 --> 00:20:04,869
Only according
to everyone we know.

480
00:20:04,971 --> 00:20:06,441
[chuckles]

481
00:20:06,539 --> 00:20:08,479
I mean, I built you the Titanic
for our first date.

482
00:20:08,575 --> 00:20:10,535
Do you think
that was a bad omen?

483
00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:15,111
I love you, Maeve,
but I think we need some space.

484
00:20:15,214 --> 00:20:17,084
Hmm. Of course we do.

485
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:19,653
Because my immature sweetie
has never been

486
00:20:19,752 --> 00:20:22,392
in a real relationship before.

487
00:20:22,489 --> 00:20:24,919
Because my honey bunny
has trust issues

488
00:20:25,024 --> 00:20:27,364
from lying to her friends
and family for four years.

489
00:20:27,460 --> 00:20:28,900
[chuckles]

490
00:20:30,663 --> 00:20:33,903
I guess we both got
some growing up to do.

491
00:20:34,701 --> 00:20:37,041
Maybe one day we can grow back
towards each other.

492
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,436
Hmm. I'd like that.

493
00:20:39,539 --> 00:20:41,669
I'm not gonna live
on a boat. No.

494
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:51,376
You okay, Spence?

495
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:53,854
[both coughing]

496
00:21:06,333 --> 00:21:08,673
Nonna's waiting in the car.

497
00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,568
So... I should head out.

498
00:21:12,372 --> 00:21:14,642
I'd say today was fun, but...

499
00:21:14,741 --> 00:21:16,411
I know it wasn't.

500
00:21:16,509 --> 00:21:18,549
And I'd say see you later,

501
00:21:18,645 --> 00:21:21,445
but I know you're
never gonna call me.

502
00:21:21,548 --> 00:21:23,578
You were right.

503
00:21:23,683 --> 00:21:25,183
We weren't ready.

504
00:21:25,284 --> 00:21:26,594
Carly...

505
00:21:26,686 --> 00:21:28,716
no one is ready
to meet my nonna.

506
00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,261
You probably didn't notice
'cause I told her

507
00:21:31,358 --> 00:21:33,828
to be on her best behavior...

508
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:36,496
but she can be a serious pill.

509
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:38,696
I don't think so.

510
00:21:38,798 --> 00:21:41,068
Most pills have
healing properties.

511
00:21:41,167 --> 00:21:42,437
[chuckles]

512
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,965
You know...

513
00:21:44,070 --> 00:21:46,510
my last girlfriend
would have let her choke.

514
00:21:46,606 --> 00:21:50,176
Are you saying
that I'm your girlfriend?

515
00:21:51,678 --> 00:21:54,078
Does this answer your question?

516
00:21:58,317 --> 00:22:01,687
-Not really. I mean, am I your
girlfriend? -How about this?

517
00:22:05,057 --> 00:22:06,527
[horn honking]

518
00:22:06,626 --> 00:22:09,096
Damn it, Nonna,
stop salting my game.

519
00:22:12,932 --> 00:22:14,202
Mmm.

520
00:22:14,300 --> 00:22:16,470
Can't go wrong
with spaghetti tacos.

521
00:22:16,569 --> 00:22:18,809
Mm-hmm.

522
00:22:19,872 --> 00:22:21,412
This was so worth the wait.

523
00:22:21,508 --> 00:22:24,038
You know what, I get it now.

524
00:22:24,143 --> 00:22:27,853
* Feed me, feed me
a spaghetti taco *

525
00:22:27,947 --> 00:22:29,677
-Yes.
-* But not *

526
00:22:29,782 --> 00:22:32,052
* In that outfit. *

527
00:22:32,919 --> 00:22:34,749
Kevin, I know we just met
a few minutes ago,

528
00:22:34,854 --> 00:22:36,694
but would you be interested
in moving in with me?

529
00:22:36,789 --> 00:22:38,789
I'll build you a boat.

530
00:22:38,891 --> 00:22:41,391
Kevin's more
of an independent woman,

531
00:22:41,494 --> 00:22:43,134
but if you want,

532
00:22:43,229 --> 00:22:45,029
you can watch her tomorrow
during my video shoot.

533
00:22:45,131 --> 00:22:46,831
[gasps]
I would love that.

534
00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,403
This little lady's
gonna help me through

535
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:49,641
the toughest day of my life.

536
00:22:49,736 --> 00:22:51,566
You know, studies have shown

537
00:22:51,671 --> 00:22:53,771
that petting a dog
is very therapeutic.

538
00:22:53,873 --> 00:22:55,513
Unless your allergic.

539
00:22:55,608 --> 00:22:57,678
Then you'll just get hives.

540
00:22:58,911 --> 00:23:00,551
And too bad there's no way
to connect people who need

541
00:23:00,647 --> 00:23:02,377
pet sitters with...

542
00:23:02,482 --> 00:23:04,622
people who need
therapy animals.

543
00:23:04,717 --> 00:23:07,987
Like an Airbnb but for pets.

544
00:23:08,087 --> 00:23:09,557
[gasps]

545
00:23:09,656 --> 00:23:11,416
I'll call the app...

546
00:23:11,524 --> 00:23:13,764
Kevin.

547
00:23:14,694 --> 00:23:16,964
Yeah, I need her back now.

548
00:23:17,014 --> 00:23:21,564
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